A YEAR WITHOUT MY DAD
A year ago today. Wow. I’ve been feeling so anxious as this week got closer and closer, and somehow I am okay, very sad, but I’m going to be okay. Thank you Lord.
A year ago today, I had to say goodbye to my dad right in front of my eyes. Watching him suffer horribly from two brain surgeries was just incredibly hard to watch so while I miss him more than I ever knew I could, I am so glad he is not in anymore pain.
Click here to read the private blog that I used to keep family and friends updated in real time about dad. I’ve never shared that publicly before.
I never understood why people say “the first year is the hardest” but I now I know why: every single day in that first year is still tied to a memory with that person. First day of school, you have the urge to send Papa a picture, but you can’t. Their first heavenly birthday, you want to tell them happy birthday but can’t. Your own first birthday, and you’ll never get that text that says “Happy Birthday Tink.”
I miss my dad and I can’t quite describe how it feels. But…life is still happening here, in the present.
Seasons come, and seasons go. But I promise you there is wisdom to pick up along the way. My superpower is I can hold joy and pain all at the same time. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
If you follow me much on social media you know that pretty much every day I am telling you to be present today and live your life on purpose. Don’t let life just pass, live it purposeful, with intention.
I started living this way in 2014 because of two very painful seasons (that were my own fault) and when you add in the year 2023 with us deciding to move, then dad getting horribly sick, and sending my son off to bootcamp (all at the same time) your perspective in life will absolutely change.
Will it change into more love? Or fear?
I chose love. I chose to believe that pretty much nothing else matters anymore except DO NOT WASTE TODAY.
Love your people, see them, pay attention to the small details, give more grace than judgement. Show up for your life. Worry only about Jesus, because the rest is worldly nonsense.
What a gift it is to be alive today, and what a gift it is that I have someone else waiting for me in heaven. And honestly, he is in the presence of GLORY right now, he would not want to come back down here to earth. My mom and I know he is with us when we see butterflies, or anytime I hear a song on the radio. He is with me and I know he sees everything I think he missed.
love you dad🖤
